Thursday, May 16, 2013

REAL CONVERSATION: Everyone will not understand this journey...

Good morning everyone!

So, something recently happened that made me want to write about this topic. So, late in 2012, I met a guy, and he was really into me. He is educated, gainfully employed, and loves plus size women. When we met, I was at least 340 - this was in the early phase of my journey. He praised me and told me how beautiful I was, but when I told him that I was losing weight - he changed. He started making comments about I do not need to lose weight and should accept the way I was (300+).

Well, this really made me question why some people are against people's decision to lose weight especially when the person is clearly unhealthy. Just because I may not have the necessary health issues, does not mean it is healthy for me to carry around the excess weight either. I was extremely upset because I did not understand why this man wanted someone who was unhealthy - maybe his insecurities, but you have to understand people will not always agree with our decisions. This decision to lose a couple of pounds or a lot should be based upon what you want, not based upon someone's preference for you.

The guy kept making inappropriate comments and just did not understand the reasons behind wanting to change my lifestyle. He kept calling it a diet - I reminded him it was nothing of the sort, but he kept pushing the issue. So, he became history and I stopped speaking to him for a few months... Until the day he sent a random text message, "Are you still 300?" I was proud to say on that day, "No, today I weighed in at 297!!!" He kept talking to me, but I asked him, "What is your purpose? I am not changing besides going down in weight..." He indicated he was happy for me, but just prefers me at 350 pounds. He actually indicated, "I was insanely beautiful before, but now I am alright - just pretty."

I was insulted at first, but realized people are people. If I was naive, I would have listened to this fool and others who come with their complaints about my weight. Yes, some people think being healthy means we want to be skinny. I remind people all the time, I love my curves. I have a nice shape and as the weight goes down my shape becomes more define; therefore, I will never ever be skinny (God willing), and I am not doing this to become skinny. This journey requires me to put my mind into making changes, and these changes are making me smaller. Nobody can say they are 100% healthy walking around with 300+ of FAT, not muscle, but fat. So, why would I want to torture myself and drag my body through such horror any longer?

As my mom always say, "Everyone has an opinion just like they have an asshole." People who are emotional eaters could take someone's comments like that, and really turn backwards to satisfy someone else. When I look in the mirror and stand by myself in the bathroom or my bedroom, I see only one reflection - mine; therefore, if anyone - family, friends, man, or woman have an opinion about why I do not want to be OBESE for the rest of my life, then they do not belong in my life.

We cannot make others happy on our journeys. If someone is negative and trying to make you revert back to the old habits, then you need to let them go, and move forward with your life without them. It is not easy, but it is something that requires a lot of time because you will realize in the long run those people never had good intentions for you. Good luck, and remember you are strong and can make the changes, but take small steps towards a large accomplishment!

TW aka Plus Size Health Nut