Tuesday, May 14, 2013

REAL CONVERSATION: Love and Healthy Living

 This topic comes up very often – does love/relationships have an impact on your healthy living? The answer is YES!

Changing your way of life is very important for people who have traditionally lived an unhealthy lifestyle for so long. Each day you are faced with challenges, some days you are going to fail, but having supportive people in your network can provide for a happy transition throughout this process.

They say love makes your gain weight. From experience this is both true and false. I was with someone for two years, and he loved to eat. Eating was like a hobby for him – he wanted to go out almost every other night, and once we lived together this only got worse. Right before I met him, I had just lost 50 pounds, but once I fell in love, the pounds slowly, rather rapidly came back on. It was definitely an experience. But, I was in love. He never made me feel any type of way about my weight, but once I realized it was time for me to lose weight, he didn’t care one way or another. Needless to say, I did not lose the weight.

Fast forward to 2010, when I met my ex.; boy, did my weight fluctuate in this relationship. One I was emotionally unhappy, and turned to food as my way to deal with the lack of everything in this relationship – trust, happiness, love (from him), and everything that went with it. Then I got pregnant, and by 3 months I had gained an additional 20 pounds. Unfortunately, I had a miscarriage, but the damage was done – 20 pounds was added to my already plus size frame. Of course, this showed that love could have a negative impact – not only on my weight, but mentally and emotionally too.
When I started in October 2012, I was still with my ex, but by that time I had gained control of myself and knew how to handle him and all he threw my way – especially the bad. I put aside the lack of love I felt from my “partner” and dived into me and my goal of losing weight. He did not support me, nor did he really provide for any encouragement – luckily I had my mom, sisters, and friends there to support me in the early phase of my weight loss. I would send him pictures of myself after losing 20-25 pounds, and all I would get was a “nice”. There was little to no support, but I had processed the fact this person was not going to be in my life much longer, and that I was able to achieve greatness with or without him. That relationship ended J

So, now I am here with my long time love. Yes, I’ve known him for 10+ years – he was my college boyfriend. Despite the fact that I have been in several relationships throughout my life, he was always there in my life, and just so happen that right in the mist of my turmoil (house being robbed before New Years), he came and brought a newfound level of happiness. When he saw me after I lost the first 10 pounds, the words of encouragement quickly followed. He gave me advice on how to do certain things, and when I would call him seeking pity, he was the one telling me to get over myself, and “make it happen.” Since he has been in my life again permanently, my level of happiness and calmness has increased. I am 10x more content with my progress because I know there is someone outside of my normal support group who understands and cares. What makes it funny is, he is very fit. Exercising is his hobby; he can work out without thinking whereas it used to be a chore for me. He pushes me and makes me feel comfortable in my skin, but he reminds me that he fell in love with me a long time ago and it really doesn’t matter about the number on the scale – he wants me to be happy in my skin, and that is one of the best feelings in the world.

So, what can love do for you during this healthy lifestyle change? Well, it depends on you and the person you are with. Love can have a negative impact on you based upon the person you are in a relationship with. My first ex boyfriend was not bad, but due to the fact he loved to eat out so much, we went out all the time. Yes, this was quality time, but I was not in the state of mind to make the smart, healthy decisions like today. The last ex, well the emotional toll he put on me drove me to eat more on top of the pregnancy I experienced. But, now I have the healthy balance. We can go out and have fun, but he helps me to make smarter decisions while I am able to have a happy and loving relationship. THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS. How does love impact your healthy lifestyle?